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THREE BLIND MICE

Three blind mice

Showed up at the colonel’s costume ball

Not like Lucy had murdered him

But somebody would have to take the fall

Laid out on the dining room table

Sabre sticking out of his chest

How anyone moved him without a crane

To that I could only guess

Blood spattered on the ceiling

The violence, well, if left me reeling

Three blind mice, I’ve wondered once or twice

Did they suspect him of double dealing?

ACCOMMODATIONS

I want to say a word about accommodations

Ain’t no heat and ain’t no ventilation

Leaking from the ceiling

Puddles on the floor

Mold on the walls

Lucky we don’t breathe no more

Dreamed about a little cabin

Tucked in between the trees

Bees and birds flying round me

Sunlight almost blinding me

But that ain’t my situation

Got me living like a mole

Temperature, humidity

I ain’t got no control

I might as well be a mushroom

Just another thing forgotten and gone

Might as well be a mushroom

Not much left except this song

CENSER

You with the censer

Give it a swing

Cover up the odor

That the dead will bring

Kinda like rotten eggs

Burned to a cinder

Smell hits you in the head

No need for more tinder

Priest is gagging, altar boys got to puke

Stench, I warn you, it’s like we’ve been nuked

Got a bible handY, got a crucifix

Might be the kind of trouble mumbo jumbo can fix

Let’s take a chance on smoking them out

But frankly I have my doubts

CRUSHED

It couldn’t have been a good way to go

Crushed between my car and the cement

Let’s say it was not a temporary problem

Let’s just call it permanent

The phrase that came to mind

Was crushed like a bug

A death I guess was probably quick

Compared to a dinner plate, his skull wasn’t quite that quick

But I don’t think that many tears got shed

He wasn’t an honest mechanic

Wanted to get cheated? 

He was your man

In terms of honesty he was Satanic

But it couldn’t have been a good way to go

Looking at the greasy motor of my car

A creak then a crash

A scream as he’s mashed

After that he wasn’t going far

GET AWAY

The dead get away with everything

Don’t make much difference what you do

Put them in handcuffs 

Next thing you know they’re oozing through

You got to get them back in the underworld

You got to lock the door up tight

Never know if they’ll let you sleep through

A portion of the night

CALL ME FATMAN

They call me Fatman

Maybe you can surmise

From the girth of my belly

The jiggle in my thighs

Each morning before I rise

The twitch of my nose

The blink of my eyes

Then I assume the dead man’s pose

Breathe in, breathe out

Empty headed beyond a doubt

Between the living and the dead

I know the joy, I know the dread

Another day now here we go

Rising from the dead man’s pose

DEADHEAD GUTS

His idea of a decent meal

Was peculiar

Fish guts and heads

Yanked from a. Dumpster

That was Deadhead

Look on his face

Ecstatic I heard

But an explanation

He wouldn’t say a word

That was Deadhead

At the buffet table

Eating more 

Than anyone else was able 

Vile odor

Visuals, bad

Most disgusting scene 

That the neighborhood had had

But all he wanted was a decent meal

That was Deadhead

That was Deadhead

DEADHEAD’S CLUB

I knew him from the wayback

Seems like a million years ago

When his name was Timmy or Bobby or

Well, I no longer know

Now it’s Deadhead, Deadhead

He’s in a club, he’s president

Deadhead Deadhead

Don’t threaten him, it won’t make dent

Motorcycles, grumbling Harleys, cocaine, weed and meth

Hang too long with him and his pals

You’re making a reservation with death

Deadhead Deadhead

Don’t threaten him, it won’t make dent

He pulled out his pistol

Took aim at the pitfall

That was eating his trash

Bang ricochet

What can I say

Deadhead dropped to the alley with a crash

DUKE BLACK

Duke black, from your office window

You can see North Dakota

Duke black

600 dollar pen, sign here

He can make your problems disappear

Duke Black

He knows every legal trick

Most aren’t even in the book

He’s the lawyer you want

Even if you ain’t a crook

Duke Black

Put your money on his desk

Everything will work out fine

You might end up broke

But you won’t do no time

Duke Black

Philanthropist

Friend of the arts

Need a donation

This is where you start

Duke Black

Hospitals named after him

Schools and parks

He’s got what you need

He donates on a lark

Duke Black

You got a situation

he’s your best friend

His wheeling and dealing

It will never end

Duke Black

FLYING

They pulled back the drapes

Opened the window

Looked down at the sidewalk

So far below

40 stories

Maybe it was more

Grabbed me roughly

Lifted me from the floor

And I was flying

Yes I was flying

The clouds the birds

And me, flying

400 feet distance more or less

Try to imagine

My feeling of distress

But you’d be wrong

Yes, you’d be wrong

A sense of peace

Came over Me

Looking out at the last things

That I would ever see

Flying, yes, I was flying

FORTUNE TELLER

Went to the fortune teller

Maybe you heard about this deal

Not much about reality

More about how you feel

Got a bag full of hocus hocus

Got more tricks than sleeve

Got questions about veracity

She’ll tell you to leave

Whoa whoa whoa

She’s the fortune teller

Repeat

She looked into my eyes

What came next was a big surprise

My head dropped to the table

Think? I wasn’t able 

Whoa whoa whoa

She’s the fortune teller

Repeat

HEY THERE PADRE

I said hey there padre

Have you done this before

Down the busted stairway

Through the rusted door

Might be the dead awaiting

We don’t know much more

Got a cloud of incense

Some big eyed altar boys

Rosary beads a clacking

Too scared to make much noise

MY FENCE

People know where I live

Write fuck you on my fence

I don’t think it’s an accident

I’m really not that dense

Lived here about 40 years

Got here before these punks were born

Don’t know why they can’t just leave me alone

Pay attention to the drugs and porn

I got a garden and trees and flowers

This joint is my little love nest

There’s the crime, the litter, the run down hovels

Don’t know why I think this place is best

People ain’t got much money

They might lack all common sense

But that’s maybe why I’m living here

With fuck you written on my fence

REVENGE

Some people call it revenge

As in killing

As in getting even

The dead are wiling

To twist your head off

To wreck your car

Try to get away you won’t get far

Killing, the sounds a little crude

Twist off your head

That’s always rude

Not a gang of psychopaths

Just got grievances we can’t get past

Karmic adjustment

That the term we employ

Karmic adjustment

We don’t want to be annoyed

By loose talk that makes it sound like we’re nuts

Sure we got problems anyway, but

It’s karmic adjustment that we’re talking about…

DREAM OF SEX WITH THE DEAD

I saw a picture the other day

A girl I used to know

Swimming in a cold clear lake’ dove to the bottom so far below

Her skin, so pale and clear

Her hair dripping to her shoulders

Should have told her I loved her

Should have been bolder

Her cold skin under my hand

A message about the larger plan

Didn’t see what it meant

Didn’t understand

TWIST OFF

Twist off, twist off baby

How undead settle major scores

Twist off twist off baby

Their nuclear weapon

They ain’t got nothing more

Grab you firmly by the head

Quick rotation jack you dead

Twist off  twist off baby

Ain’t saying it don’t leave a horrible mess

But it makes a definite point

As even the undead will confess

It really messes up the joint

It’s twist off twist off baby 

It’s a sure fire way to keep a city horrified

Everybody thinks there’s got to be a better way to die

Twist off twist off baby twist off

WHAT SHE SEE IN YOU

You think I haven’t heard it before

Maybe. A million times

Think I haven’t heard it before

Repetition, it ought to be a crime

What she doing with you, man you’re short and fat

What she doing with you, you’re not where she’s at

Yeah of course I know it

She got plenty of va va room

Me, nobody looks up

When I walk into the room

But ladies and gentlemen

All my tricks ain’t up my sleeve

When it comes to love potions

I got more than I need

What she doing with you

Let me just mention

In the sack let me say

Got some wicked mojo working

24 hours a day

Want advice from me? Well I ain’t going to say