COMPLETE/Fatman Descends
1. DEAD GUY POSE
They call me Fatman
Maybe you can surmise
From the girth of my belly
The jiggle in my thighs
Each morning before I rise
The twitch of my nose
The blink of my eyes
Then I assume the dead man’s pose
Breathe in, breathe out
Empty-headed beyond a doubt
Between the living and the dead
I know the joy, I know the dread
Another day now here we go
Rising from the dead man’s pose
2. GATES OF HELL
Looking at the gates of hell
Sulphur, that was the smell
seemed to ooze between the cracks
I said to myself, I ain’t never coming back
Crucifixes welded to the door
half dozen locks, maybe more
stack of rebar and cement
Maximum security, that was the intent.
3. My Fence
People know where I live
Write ‘fuck you’ on my fence
I don’t think it’s an accident
I’m really not that dense
Lived here about 40 years
Got here before these punks were born
Don’t know why they can’t just leave me alone
Pay attention to the drugs and porn
I got a garden and trees and flowers
This joint is my little love nest
There’s the crime, the litter, the run-down hovels
Don’t know why I think this place is best
People ain’t got much money
They might lack all common sense
But that’s maybe why I’m living here
With ‘fuck you’ written on my fence
4. CRUSHED
It couldn’t have been a good way to go
Crushed between my car and the cement
Let’s say it was not a temporary problem
Let’s just call it permanent
The phrase that came to mind
Was ‘crushed like a bug’
A death I guess that was probably quick
Compared to a dinner plate, his skull wasn’t quite that thick
But I don’t think that many tears got shed
He wasn’t an honest mechanic
Wanted to get cheated?
He was your man
In terms of honesty he was Satanic
But it couldn’t have been a good way to go
Looking at the greasy motor of my car
A creak then a crash
A scream as he’s mashed
After that he wasn’t going far
5. D-O-R-I-S
D-O-R-I-S,
She’s my little baby I must confess
She’s got that va
she’s got that voom
every head turns when she walks in the room
She might be living
she might be dead
she might be something else entirely instead
She’s my little baby girl
She’s the queen of the underworld
6. THAT WAS DEADHEAD
I knew him from the way back
Seems like a million years ago
When his name was Timmy or Bobby or
Well, I no longer know
Now it’s Deadhead, Deadhead
He’s in a club, he’s president
Deadhead Deadhead
Don’t threaten him, it won’t make a dent
Motorcycles, grumbling Harleys, cocaine, weed and meth
Hang too long with him and his pals
You’re making a reservation with death
Deadhead Deadhead
Don’t threaten him, it won’t make a dent
He pulled out his pistol
Took aim at the pitbull
That was eating his trash
Bang ricochet
What can I say
Deadhead dropped to the alley with a crash
7. SHE LOVES TO EAT
My baby, she loves to eat
My baby, she loves to eat
mashed potatoes, apple pie
a flood of gravy, chicken thigh
One more time, let me repeat
My baby she loves to eat
8. WHAT SHE SEES IN YOU
You think I haven’t heard it before
Maybe. A million times
Think I haven’t heard it before
Repetition, it ought to be a crime
What she doing with you, man you’re short and fat
What she doing with you, you’re not where she’s at
Yeah of course I know it
She got plenty of va va room
Me, nobody looks up
When I walk into the room
But ladies and gentlemen
All my tricks ain’t up my sleeve
When it comes to love potions
I got more than I need
What she doing with you
Let me just mention
In the sack let me say
Got some wicked mojo working
24 hours a day
Want advice from me? Well I ain’t going to say
9. TWIST OFF
Twist off, twist off baby
How undead settle major scores
Twist off twist off baby
Their nuclear weapon
They ain’t got nothing more
Grab you firmly by the head
Quick rotation, jack you dead
Twist off, twist off baby
Ain’t saying it don’t leave a horrible mess
But it makes a definite point
As even the undead will confess
It really messes up the joint
It’s twist off twist off baby
It’s a sure fire way to keep a city horrified
Everybody thinks there’s got to be a better way to die
Twist off twist off baby twist off
10. WHY IS THERE AN UNDERWORLD?
Why is there an underworld
why am I sleeping there
so much we’ll never understand, the rivers, the grass, the air
Why does the water flow
why is the sky blue
what about the green of the grass
why not some other hue
why, why is there an underworld
if you think too hard you’ll come to the same poor understanding
not meant to get to the bottom of it
we weren’t in on the plannning
so go ahead and ask, why is there an underworld
go ahead and ask, why is there an underworld
11 CENSER
You with the censer
Give it a swing
Cover up the odor
That the dead will bring
Kinda like rotten eggs
Burned to a cinder
Smell hits you in the head
No need for more tinder
Priest is gagging, altar boys got to puke
Stench, I warn you, it’s like we’ve been nuked
Got a bible handy, got a crucifix
Might be the kind of trouble mumbo jumbo can fix
Let’s take a chance on smoking them out
But frankly I have my doubts
12. HEY THERE PADRE
I said hey there padre
Have you done this before
Down the busted stairway
Through the rusted door
Might be the dead awaiting
We don’t know much more
Got a cloud of incense
Some big-eyed altar boys
Rosary beads aclacking
Too scared to make much noise
13. KIDS
Kids, what’s the matter with kids these day
Kids, open up their mouths they got something insulting to say
I’ve been called Lardo and worse, my response is always a curse
What’s the matter with these kids today
looking for the brains of the operation
Looks like the brains are on a permanent vacation
Kids, kids kids, kids kids kids
what’s the matter with these kids today?
14. DEADHEAD GUTS
His idea of a decent meal
Was peculiar
Fish guts and heads
Yanked from a dumpster
That was Deadhead
Look on his face
Ecstatic I heard
But an explanation
He wouldn’t say a word
That was Deadhead
At the buffet table
Eating more
Than anyone else was able
Vile odor
Visuals, bad
Most disgusting scene
That the neighborhood had had
But all he wanted was a decent meal
That was Deadhead
That was Deadhead
15. THE DEAD GET AWAY WITH EVERYTHING
The dead get away with everything
don’t make much difference what you do
put them in handcuffs, next thing you know
they’re oozing through
Got to get them back in the underworld
you got to lock the door up tight
never know if they’ll let you
sleep through the night
16. FORTUNE TELLER
Went to the fortune teller
Maybe you heard about this deal
Not much about reality
More about how you feel
Got a bag full of hocus hocus
Got more tricks than sleeve
Got questions about veracity
She’ll tell you to leave
Whoa whoa whoa
She’s the fortune teller
Repeat
She looked into my eyes
What came next was a big surprise
My head dropped to the table
Think? I wasn’t able
Whoa whoa whoa
She’s the fortune teller
Repeat
17. DREAM OF SEX WITH THE DEAD
I saw a picture the other day
A girl I used to know
Swimming in a cold clear lake, dove to the bottom, far below
Her skin, so pale and clear
Beads of water dripping to her shoulders
Should have told her I loved her
Should have been bolder
Her cold skin under my hand
A message about a larger plan
Didn’t see what it meant
Didn’t understand
18. FLYING
They pulled back the drapes
Opened the window
Looked down at the sidewalk
So far below
40 stories
Maybe it was more
Grabbed me roughly
Lifted me from the floor
And I was flying
Yes I was flying
The clouds the birds
And me, flying
400 feet distance more or less
Try to imagine
My feeling of distress
But you’d be wrong
Yes, you’d be wrong
A sense of peace
Came over me
Looking out at the last things
That I would ever see
Flying, yes, I was flying
19. ACCOMMODATIONS
I want to say a word about accommodations
Ain’t no heat and ain’t no ventilation
Leaking from the ceiling
Puddles on the floor
Mold on the walls
Lucky we don’t breathe no more
Dreamed about a little cabin
Tucked in between the trees
Bees and birds flying round
Sunlight almost blinding me
But that ain’t my situation
Got me living like a mole
Temperature, humidity
I ain’t got no control
I might as well be a mushroom
Just another thing forgotten and gone
Might as well be a mushroom
Not much left except a song
20. DUKE BLACK
Duke Black, from the office window
You can see North Dakota
Duke Black
600 dollar pen, sign here
He can make your problems disappear
Duke Black
He knows every legal trick
Most aren’t even in the book
He’s the lawyer you want
Even if you ain’t a crook
Duke Black
Put your money on his desk
Everything will work out fine
You might end up broke
But you won’t do no time
Duke Black
Philanthropist
Friend of the arts
Need a donation
This is where you start
Duke Black
Hospitals named after him
Schools and parks
He’s got what you need
He donates on a lark
Duke Black
You got a situation
he’s your best friend
His wheeling and dealing
That will never end
Duke Black
21. BUSINESS
This is business, Duke told me
I replied, pal, don’t you see
We’re not talking about the price
of a big fat diamond, wouldn’t that suffice
This is my heart that’s been impaled
my emotions have all been nailed
I can barely breathe
can’t you see?
and you call it business
this is from my point of view
oh, please try to think it through
it’s the only thing that’s in my head
getting a grip on the undead
Duke my friend you call it business
you got it completely wrong
it’s my broken heart that’s on the floor,
and I can’t begin to play along
22. REVENGE
Some people call it revenge
As in killing
As in getting even
The dead are willing
To twist your head off
To wreck your car
Try to get away you won’t get far
Killing, sounds a little crude
Twist off your head
That’s always rude
Not a gang of psychopaths
Just got grievances we can’t get past
Karmic adjustment
That the term we employ
Karmic adjustment
We don’t want to be annoyed
By loose talk that makes it sound like we’re nuts
Sure we got problems anyway, but
It’s karmic adjustment that we’re talking about…
23. BLOOD
Signing in blood, makes you shiver then afterward
What kind of deal am I making here
what’s this nagging sense of fear
who is watching
who would know
angels above, demons below
ain’t no need pretending you had no notion
time line eternity, blood, the secret potion
No point in arguing what good would it do
It’s a devil’s bargain and before you’re through
Underworld’s got you in its slimy embrace
face it pal, you’ve lost this race
24. JEFF OR BRUCE
Hey there Jeff, or should I call you Bruce
I’m the kind of guy who accepts a substitute
I need a couple tons of cement
Needs to go down the stairway
lock it up, that’s my intent
You might suspect we’ll both come out ahead
you got a fist of money, and I’m done with the dead
they’ll be stuck down below
Last we’re seeing of them, at least I hope it’s so