WIGGLE
Parking garage
Unlock the Cadillac
Never heard the footsteps
Right behind my back
Didn’t turn around
Wasn’t time for that
Professional job
A real sneak attack
Next thing I knew
Heard crazy laughter
Loaded in the trunk
I’m talking about disaster
Cement overshoes
Sunk in the sea
Nobody in the world
Would know what became of me
Got that knife, got that knife in my back
Got that knife
A real sneak attack
Got that knife
Got that knife in my back
Roscoe the copper, he looked at me
He said Fatman, you appear guilty
Just once, I said Roscoe, you could give me a break.
Do I acccuse you of being on the take
Well I don’t
Truth is buddy
I’m as honest as you
Don’t believe me? You don’t have a clue
I don’t have any ill-gotten gains
That just ain’t my kind of game
Well it’s not
So go buy some doughnuts buddy
Get back in your car.
Need to talk to me?
I’m not going far.
MORE ABOUT DORIS
A few words about my baby
if you got the time
I know that I am bragging,
but that Ian’’t no crime
As I’ve mentioned before
she got that va va room
Every heads starts cranking
when she walks into the room
Talking about her prowling hands
A nibble on my ear
30 seconds of this and my problems disappear
She’s my alpha and omega
The real deal bottom to top
I could go on forever
Lucky for you I’ll just stop
I’d only leave you jealous
Wondering how I got this deal
I’ve had this conversation before
I know just how you feel
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY
I got one last argument to make
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
Offering a statement
Takes as long as it takes
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
Answered all your questions
What you wondered about
Couple more minutes here
And you won’t have any doubts
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
You could say I’m guilty
Lots of things I shouldn’t have done
Fabrication
Confabulation
Little lies and bigger ones
In the service of justice
I suppose you could excuse me.
Right and wrong, complicated
No need to be so choosy
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
WE BOTH KNOW
We both know, sister, we both know
We both know the nothing you say is true
Cost of doing business, what else can I do
We both know, well, we both know
Alpha Omega Asset Management
You gonna hear from them
If you don’t pay the rent you’re going to hear from them
Say you start out with a million little lies
The dog’s sick, your car’s broke, you momma just died
We both know that none of that is true
But I’m the landlord, you’re the tenant, what else can we do
The toilet didn’t break itself
The dishes in the sink you never made a dent
The cockroaches well they found a happy home
The mice obviously have been free to roam
You busted up the joint
What else can I say
Please save the dumb excuses for another day
We both know
We both know
He knew who sharpened the knife
He had a plan for the execution
You could say he made a stupid bet
That he thought of as a solution
That world of grubbing
Chasing after dough
Money, wine and women
Don’t take nothing slow
Pool boys, accountants, maids and handymen
Think you ever got enough? Brother think again
Ain’t never enough
Ain’t no way to stop
Keep marching down that golden road
Until the day you drop
Don’t make no sense
The problem was immense
But brother I always knew
Who sharpened the knife
PLAY IT
How do you want to play it
Call it living, call it dead.
Maybe consider
Call it halfway instead
Halfway to nothing
Gateway to eternity
In touch with the cosmic forces
Or lost in an empty sea
Of memory
Of obligation
Of unpaid debt
Lost in the pathways of your life
So much you can’t forget
So how do you want to play it
Digging out your memories
How do you want to play it
Will you be satisfied by what you see
TOPSIDE
Topside
Marge is opening the portal
Topside
Setting us loose among the mortals
Topside
Man here we go
Shuffling toward that ladder, well don’t you know
Clank clank clank
Up rusty steel stairs
Pop the manhole cover and we’re loose up there
Topside
Birds are a cheeping
Topside
There we go a creeping
Topside
Toward a car to steal
Can’t wait to get behind the wheel
Mercedes-Benz baby what can I say
Ain’t going to drive no Chevrolet
Topside
Gonna settle some scores
Topside
Can’t ask for nothing more
Topside
Replacing evil with good
Gonna straighten out your neighborhood
Fresh air
The clouds
The leaves in the trees
About as happy as I’ll ever be
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF THE JURY
I got one last argument to make
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
Offering a statement
Takes as long as it takes
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
Answered all your questions
What you wondered about
Couple more minutes here
And you won’t have any doubts
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
You could say I’m guilty
Lots of things I shouldn’t have done
Fabrication
Confabulation
Little lies and bigger ones
In the service of justice
I suppose you could excuse me.
Right and wrong, complicated
No need to be so choosy
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury
HER MONEY
She’s got the money
Bundles of dough
You think that I’d be happy
But what do you know
Wanna be a provider
Make my baby satisfied
She’s got all the moolah
Gift from Duke after he died
Maybe he tried to undermine me
Prove that I’m an empty purse
A beggar at the table
And what’s even worse
The mansion
The Jaguar
Fine suits, vintage wine
I’d give it all up gladly
If Doris were only mine
She’s got all the money
Bundles of dough
I miss our old life together
More than you could ever know
It ain’t money that’s important
It ain’t the wealth you see
It’s the warmth of love in her heart
I don’t know that she agrees
AS IT SO HAPPENED
As it so happened
Parts began to disappear
Where did Duke’s eyebrows go
That wasn’t clear
Eyeballs were saying
No sale, we’ve disappeared
Dying by bits and pieces
Unitl he was no longer here
As it so happens
As it so happens
What the universe giveth
It will also take away
Are we saying good bye Duke
Well there is no way to say
As it so happens
As it so happens
So is it bye-bye, buddy
Any way to tell
A ticket to heaven
Or might it be hell
THIS IS GOING TO BE HUGE
This is going to be huge
Jumbo size, hear what I say
Tell the naysayers, stay out of my way
They got a concept
They got a plan
Dudes in the underworld say I’m their man
Ain’t no way around it
This is going to be huge
You got your past
You got your present
Needless to say you got your now
Get yourself hooked up with that
Take it from me, you’ll be shouting wow
This is going to be huge
We’ll hold the patent
For the whole planet
Money? We’ll be making it like bandits
The long and the short
This is going to be huge
WHERE’S THE EVIDENCE?
Where’s the evidence?
Way the cops are acting
Evidence, ain’t really lacking
Got the body
Got the knife in the back
The knife that came
From my kitchen rack
How many guys would go for murdering Duke
Let’s just say, it wasn’t a fluke
He sprung a lot of perps
Who were back out on the street
The kind of characters
You would’t care to meet
Question is,
Where’s the evidence
Question is, where’s the evidence
Don’t make no sense
Unless you got more evidence
SWOLLEN FEET
There I go shuffling down the street
Cops got my car
I got two swollen feet
Bicycle if I’m in a rush
State of my heart
I just can’t push it too much
Kids think it’s hilarious
Yelling at me
Hey hey there Mr Fatman
Don’t you agree
Roads aing’t built
For your kind of weight
400 pounds
What can asphalt take
Same old streets
Same old town
I’m just struggling to get around
Tracking down the undead
Well as I can
But I’m stumbling
An old exhausted man
ROSCOE
Roscoe the copper, he looked at me
He said Fatman, you appear guilty
Just once, I said Roscoe, you could give me a break.
Do I acccuse you of being on the take
Well I don’t
Truth is buddy
I’m as honest as you
Don’t believe me? You don’t have a clue
I don’t have any ill-gotten gains
That just ain’t my kind of game
Well it’s not
So go buy some doughnuts buddy
Get back in your car.
Need to talk to me?
I’m not going far.
A THOUSAND GUYS
A thousand guys could have done tit
Put a knife in Duke Black’s back
And we’re not counting the women
who might have dreamed up an attack
But if you kept a tally of friends and enemies
In Duke Blcks ledger book
You would have found a balance
lacking friends and favoring crooks
But who forsees the future
Don’t we believe that things will work out fine
Duke tended toward optimism
Everyone sending him a Valentine